Am I in the Wrong for Not Telling My Wife to Tone Down Her Sexy Dancing at Our Wedding?

A recently married man took to the AITA Reddit board to see if she was in the wrong for not telling his wife what others were saying about her dancing at their wedding.

Got Married on Their 10th Anniversary

OP and his wife, both 29 years old, recently got married on the 10th anniversary of the day OP asked her to be his girlfriend.

They have been together since their first year of university and have faced many challenges and triumphs together, which has strengthened their bond. OP is certain that there is no one else he wants to spend his life with.

OP and his wife celebrated their wedding day with Spanish traditions, as OP’s wife is half-Spanish.

The Wedding Included Spanish Customs

The wedding ceremony incorporated many Spanish customs, and the reception turned into a lively celebration with the presence of her family members. The festive atmosphere made the reception a memorable party.

After dancing for a while, OP became tired and decided to take a break to sit and chat with his family members. Meanwhile, his wife continued dancing with her cousins and friends.

During their conversation, OP’s mother and aunt expressed their displeasure with his wife’s dancing style to songs like “Low” and “SexyBack”.

Inappropriate Dance Moves

They criticized her moves, particularly her “drops” and “wiggling her bottom”, and deemed them inappropriate and disrespectful to OP on their wedding day.

OP didn’t see anything wrong with the way his wife was dancing at their wedding reception. He believed that her dance moves were no different from how anyone would dance at a club when having fun and a few drinks

When his mother and aunt suggested that he should ask his wife to tone it down, OP disagreed. He felt that his wife was simply enjoying herself with her friends, and her dancing wasn’t excessive or inappropriate.

Not His Place

As a result, he didn’t feel that it was his place to intervene. The party ended soon after this conversation.

The morning after their wedding, OP and his wife had breakfast with his family, and his aunt made a comment to his wife about being pleased that he had eventually convinced her to “tone down the fiesta.”

When his wife asked for clarification, his mother recounted the conversation from the previous night, which OP had not heard as he was talking to his dad and uncle. His wife apologized but became very quiet for the remainder of the day.

Later, when they left the hotel, she expressed her disappointment with OP for not informing her about her family’s concerns during the reception.

She Felt Humiliated

She felt humiliated that his aunt had assumed that he had already discussed the matter with her.

OP felt sorry that his wife was humiliated but he did not regret his decision of not asking her to tone down her dance moves as he believed that she had done nothing wrong.

However, his wife thought that he should have informed her of the situation, as now she fears that she won’t have a good relationship with her in-laws, much like her own parents.

He Was Upset

OP was upset with his mother and aunt’s behavior and believed that they should apologize to them, but his wife didn’t want to confront them and was willing to apologize to them herself when they visit over the weekend.

This made OP angry, as he wanted to stand up for his wife and thought that his relatives were being incredibly rude, but his wife simply wanted to reconcile with them.

Despite his efforts to explain his viewpoint, his wife remained upset with him as he failed to understand her perspective and was not apologetic for not informing her.

Who Was at Fault

OP sought advice on whether he was the one at fault in this situation.

Most Reddit users agree that OP and his wife are not out of order in this situation. They believe that OP’s family was rude and controlling when they criticized his wife’s dancing at their own wedding.

They suggest that OP should stand up for his wife and give his family consequences for their behavior, or else they will continue to act this way throughout their relationship.

Some users also point out the racist undertones in the family’s comments, particularly when they told OP’s wife to “tone down the fiesta.”

Addressing Family Behaviors

They advise OP to have a conversation with his wife about how to handle the situation, but ultimately let her make the decision on how to address the family’s behavior.

Some suggest that OP’s wife should not apologize to the family and that OP should remind them that their behavior is unacceptable.

Overall, most users agree that the most important relationship in this situation is the one between OP and his wife.

What do you think? What would you have done as OP?

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Source: Reddit