Autistic Child Prevents Teenager Going on a Dream Trip. Should It Be More Inclusive So Everyone Can Learn About the Condition?

The teenage girl attends a family dinner where the 12-year-old autistic girl was throwing food and cursing non-stop.  Now the teenager does not want to travel with the same 12-year-old autistic girl on the family trip.  Does the teenager stay or does she go?  Read on to find out.

His Sister Used to Bite the Nanny

OP, 15 has a cousin named Mark, and his fiancée has a 12-year-old sister, Anna, who is autistic.  OP has been at two dinners where Anna bit her nanny, threw a smoothie at her caretaker, and cursed at her parents. 

OP understands that Anna can not help it but Anna’s behavior bothers OP a lot.

Her parents are taking her on a trip to the Bahamas and she has always wanted to go there. 

OP’s mom found out that Mark has time off during then too and suggested that Mark, who she views as a brother, and his fiancée go with them on their trip. 

Off to the Bahamas They Go!

OP was ok with Mark and his fiancée going but then Mark’s fiancée told OP’s mom that her parents were going there soon and everyone should go together.

Her mom was all for the additions to their trip but OP was not.  OP had waited so long for this vacation and she did not think she could handle 10 days of Anna throwing things, crying, and shouting.

OP told her mom but she just told her to be kind and use this as a learning experience about adjustments and compromises.  OP felt angry and helpless that her mom would say that to her. 

She said that there is no need to go on vacation if it is going to be like that.  OP’s mom tried to convince her to go on the trip with everyone.  OP did not budge.

She Lied and Said the Trip Was Two Weeks Earlier

Her mom lied to Mark and said that her days of changed and they had to leave two weeks earlier than planned. 

OP’s dad re-arranged his days off too and they went on the trip to the Bahamas with just the three of them as they had originally planned.

Her mom says she feels guilty about lying to Mark about why they changed their plans.  OP’s mom also said that OP should try to be more accommodating. 

OP does not understand her mom’s guilty feelings because she does not feel guilty at all.  In OP’s opinion, Anna is not her sister, friend, cousin, or any kind of family at all.

She’s Not Looking Forward to Fessing Up

At the next dinner, Mark’s fiancée was talking about how everyone should go together on the next trip. 

OP’s mom might be able to tolerate all the food-throwing and cursing but OP plans on asking to stay with her grandparents if they plan a trip with Anna included.

She is not looking forward to the day the next trip discussion comes up.  OP says she will have to put her foot down again and refuse to go if Anna is included in the trip. 

OP is a little concerned she might be wrong for insisting she not go on the same trip as Anna.

Her Parents Knew She’d Be Triggered

While some Redditors thought that OP needs to find a better way to handle things, most seemed to understand why OP did not want to attend a trip where Anna was going to have fits and be disruptive. 

The Reddit Community was also concerned about why Anna was being put in positions where her parents knew she would be triggered.

Onceler-for-prez says she is autistic and understands why OP would not want stuff thrown at her and wonders why they are bringing Anna when they know it will upset her.

RaynaLittle is an autistic adult and does not understand why adults put kids in these kinds of situations thinking that it is good for them.  It was torture for him.

Autistic Kid Could Never Go to the Zoo

PiratePixieDust says she is always having to explain why her 6-year-old autistic son would not be going on his class field trip to the zoo.  He would hate it and be completely miserable. 

People do not understand because her older son, who is also autistic, went on trips to the zoo.  They are completely different kids with different triggers and some people do not understand that. 

They think all autistic people are the same.

Zestyclose_Media_548 is a speech pathologist that works with autistic people and believes that even people without autism should be learning how to communicate better. 

It Should Be Inclusive

It should not be a one-way street where just the autistic are trying to learn.

Was OP wrong for refusing to go on vacation with Anna?  Should OP find a better way to be understanding and tolerant of Anna?  What do you think should be done about the situation?

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Source: Reddit