Mitchell found himself in a tricky situation, one that many couples face when discussing roles and responsibilities in a marriage. Unfortunately, his attempts to justify himself resulted in a fallout between him and his wife. Let’s take a look.
Roles in Their Relationship
Both in their 30s, Mitchell worked in finance while his wife took on the role of a stay-at-home mom, looking after their 7-year-old daughter.
Before they got married, they agreed on this arrangement since Mitchell made enough money for both of them. Because of his job, he and his family lived comfortably in a lovely city home.
His wife was really good at being a stay-at-home mom, keeping their home neat and taking good care of their daughter.
Now, here’s the thing. Mitchell’s wife sometimes liked to tease him. She would laugh and say that he couldn’t do simple house tasks like her.
Can´t Take a Joke?
Sometimes, Mitchell tried to help by loading the dishwasher, but she would laugh and say he did it all wrong.
To Mitchell, it felt like she was saying he couldn’t handle house chores. But he didn’t let it bother him too much – he knew she didn’t mean any harm.
But then, one evening, something happened. They were sitting at dinner, and his wife was talking about her day.
She mentioned how she went to different stores to buy groceries, saving money here and there. She made a joke saying Mitchell could never do that.
She said it with a laugh, in a “What would you do without me?” kind of way.
He Felt Hurt
This time, Mitchell felt a bit hurt. He wanted to prove he wasn’t clueless. So, he responded, saying he could definitely handle shopping and house tasks.
He handled complex decisions and calculations at work, and he had a master’s degree. He explained his job involved more intellect than household operations, even though he acknowledged and appreciated what his wife did.
But, uh-oh. This didn’t sit well with his wife. She thought Mitchell was saying she was less smart than him and started crying.
She reminded Mitchell that she was once a very good student and said she would be in his position if she had graduated.
Appreciation Her Sacrifices
When they met, she was an international student studying hard to finish her physics and computer science degree.
But because of money issues at home, she couldn’t finish school, so she married Mitchell so she could stay in the country.
Initially, his wife wanted to complete her degree after finding the funds. However, her plan changed when Mitchell got his job in finance.
She agreed to be a stay-at-home mom and put her plans on indefinite hold.
Mitchell appreciated her sacrifice, as it meant they were able to have a kid early on, even while he was studying for his master’s and working full time. But now he felt terrible.
Belittling Her Intelligence
He didn’t want to make his wife sad; he only wanted to say that he could do house tasks if he had to.
He knew his wife had given up a lot for their family and hadn’t meant to make her think he was belittling her intelligence.
Now, Mitchell was in a tough spot. He took to Reddit to ask if he was in the wrong for telling his wife that he would be perfectly capable of doing what she did.
Redditors did not hold back. Many of them sympathized with Mitchell’s wife and felt that Mitchell may not have fully appreciated the sacrifices she made for the family. They explained that because his wife wasn’t able to work, she took pride in her housewife role, and Mitchell had insulted her dignity.
He Missed the Point
They pointed out several things that Mitchell might have missed in his interactions with his wife.
One user wrote: “Your wife gave up everything in order to raise your child. This includes making your master’s degree and your career possible; you literally would have neither of those things if she hadn’t sacrificed everything she wanted for herself to make your life possible.”
Another user said, “Your wife is a very smart woman who probably prepared her whole life for a challenging technical career. And now, for better or worse, she is a SAHM with no degree or paying job.”
With the feedback from the community, Mitchell had a lot to think about. But what do you think? Did Mitchell mess up by trying to prove his point?
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Roman Samborskyi