This is a tale of a young trans man named Finn, who found himself caught between his true identity and his parent’s expectations during the memorable milestone of his prom. Let’s take a look.
He Had a Strained Relationship With His Family
During his high school years, Finn had a strained relationship with his family. It was the kind of relationship that was low contact, distant, yet not fully severed, filled with hope that they could fix it someday.
The rift, however, deepened during his junior year when the prospect of prom came into the picture.
Finn’s mother was insistent that he attend the prom wearing a dress, a sentiment that Finn found deeply distressing. Finn’s identity as a trans man clashed with the traditional feminine clothing his mother envisioned for him.
Despite a dress shopping trip during his senior year that his mother hoped would ignite a spark of feminine desire in Finn, the experience only confirmed his aversion to the idea.
He Chose His Identity Over an Awkward Prom Experience
Choosing his identity over an awkward prom experience, Finn skipped his junior year prom. Instead, he spent the evening with his best friend, a girl who would, in the future, become his fiancée.
By his senior year, Finn decided to attend the prom but on his own terms.
He feigned going to a party with his parents while he planned a secret prom adventure. Finn rented a suit, bought prom tickets for himself and his future fiancée, and even got her a corsage.
His fiancée’s parents took photos of them together, a memento that Finn would cherish and keep in his wallet for years.
He Regrets Missing Both of His Special Nights
However, Finn’s well-kept secret unraveled during a recent visit to his parent’s house. While reminiscing about their own prom experiences, Finn’s parents expressed regret that he missed both of his proms.
Under the influence of a bit too much alcohol, his fiancée inadvertently hinted at their senior year prom adventure. And with pressure from his parents, the truth eventually emerged.
Finn’s parents were furious. His father expressed his dismay at Finn’s years-long deception, arguing it was detrimental to their ongoing efforts at rebuilding their relationship.
Finn’s mother, on the other hand, was deeply saddened. She felt robbed of a precious bonding experience with her child and was devastated by the realization that Finn didn’t want her involvement in such an important milestone.
He’d Taken Away an Experience Parents Cherish
Finn understood his parents’ hurt. He realized he had lied, both directly and by omission, and had taken away an experience most parents cherish.
His actions had set back their reconciliation attempts, shattering their slowly rebuilding trust.
Yet, Finn was a young man at the time, caught in a difficult situation, grappling with a choice between his identity and familial expectations.
He wished his parents could see that perspective, understanding why he chose to attend his senior prom as himself, not as the daughter they had envisioned.
His Mom Was Wrong for Forcing Him To Wear a Dress
Redditors were supportive of Finn’s situation.
They emphasized that he wasn’t at fault and if anything his mom was in the wrong for essentially forcing him to wear a dress to be able to go to prom.
One user said, “You lied to your parents as a matter of self-preservation. I’m sure you’re not the first LGBTQ+ kid to do so. Maybe if your parents had been more accepting of your gender identity and didn’t try to force you to wear a dress, they would have been able to be part of your prom experience. (Not to mention, there are plenty of cis women who don’t like wearing dresses.) And that is what you should tell them. It’s entirely their fault they missed out on this experience.”
What are your thoughts about Finn’s situation? Have you ever found yourself in a position where you had to choose between your identity and the expectations of others?
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Gustavo Frazao. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.