This tragic story comes to us from a 24-year-old who’s been living with his sister for the past ten years. He has to make a hard decision due to his sister’s increasingly manic behavior, and he needs to get it off his chest.
Leaving a Loved One Behind
It’s not an easy decision to leave a loved one behind, but sometimes life demands it. This guy has reached this crossroads in his life where he must choose between his future and his sister’s present.
It’s a difficult decision, but one he has to make. The reasons for his departure are justifiable, but it doesn’t make the decision any less painful.
She Tragically Lost Her Husband
His sister has had a very rough decade. Losing her husband was a huge blow, and it hit the family hard. The original poster (OP) was especially affected by it, as he saw his brother-in-law as a role model.
He’d known him since he was four, and the loss hit him hard. He remembers when his mom pulled him out of class to tell him the news, and he just broke down.
It’s been ten years, but the pain hasn’t gone away. For the OP’s sister, it’s been even worse. She’s had outbursts of anger, sadness, and even suicidal tendencies. It’s clear that she hasn’t been able to recover and move on.
He’s Been a Constant Presence
He has been a constant presence in his sister’s life since the tragedy. He moved in with her after her husband passed – she was all alone in a huge house that he’d bought them.
He’s lived with her for the past ten years, helping with groceries, driving himself to school, and being there for her.
He’s been her rock, and she’s come to depend on him. But now he’s moving out, and that’s going to leave a big hole in her life.
No One to Comfort Her
No one will be there to comfort her, to be her friend, or to stop her meltdowns. The OP knows this, and it’s tearing him apart.
Religion has played a significant role in his sister’s life since her husband’s passing. She believes that he’s waiting for her in heaven, and that belief has kept her going all these years.
She’s rejected any suggestion of finding another partner, as she believes that her husband is the only one for her. It’s understandable, but it’s also not healthy. The OP’s family has tried to get her to move on, but she’s remained steadfast in her beliefs.
Her Meltdowns Have Got Worse
The sister’s meltdowns have only gotten worse over the years. She’s gone from being mellow and responsible to being volatile and unpredictable. She’s broken things around the house, screamed at God, and even made plans to take her own life.
She talks all the time about how badly she would love to join her husband, and she even counts down the days until she’s 78, which is her expected lifespan! She’s been going to therapy for over ten years, but it clearly doesn’t seem to have helped!
It sounds like his sister needs a lot more help, and their parents should have been there to help out. The OP’s parents should never have allowed him to be in this situation, but now that he is, it’s hard to walk away from.
He Can’t Sacrifice His Future for Her
It’s a troubling state of affairs, and the OP has done all he can to help her. But it’s not enough. He’s reached a point in his life where he needs to move on, and he can’t sacrifice his future for his sister’s present.
He and his girlfriend have signed an apartment lease, which means he’ll be leaving his sister’s house soon. He’s going to tell her tomorrow, and he knows it’s going to be hard.
He’s certain that something bad will happen when he’s gone, and that’s a heavy burden to carry. He says he’s going to hate himself forever for leaving her, but he knows he has to do it. He can’t throw his life away because of her, as much as he loves her.
Choosing His Future or His Sister’s Present
The OP is in a tough spot. He has to choose between his future and his sister’s present, and it’s not an easy decision. His sister has been through a lot in the past decade, and it’s obvious that she hasn’t been able to move on, but has she received the appropriate care?
She is clearly struggling heavily with grief and depression, and the OP is torn between wanting to help her and wanting to live his own life.
He Loves Her
He knows that he can’t throw his life away because of her, but he also loves her and doesn’t want to leave her alone.
He needs to think of it as moving on to begin living his life. He’s spent ten years looking after his grieving sister, which can carry a hefty toll. His parents should have been more involved and not left all responsibility up to him, as it’s such a challenging situation to be in.
What do you think about this story? He’s had a lot of responsibility since he was 14, should he feel guilty for wanting to finally live his life?
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / MAYA LAB. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.