A recent Reddit post brought attention to a predicament faced by a soon-to-be-married person who was contemplating excluding a coworker from their wedding guest list due to concerns over their coworker’s religious beliefs and potential anti-gay sentiments. Here’s the full story.
The Original Poster (OP) is a 25-year-old man who is getting married in October.
He is planning to invite everyone in his office to his upcoming wedding, with the exception of one coworker who we’ll call Barbara.
Except for Barbara, who is older, OP’s office is very small and close-knit, and the majority of the employees are young given how new the company is.
Although being the only employee over 35 in the office must be challenging, Barbara is the loveliest lady and gets along well with all.
However, the only issue is that OP identifies as gay and OP is aware that Barbara is deeply religious, and traditional, and has expressed anti-gay sentiment in the past.
As a result, OP preferred to keep the facts of his relationships private, and he had a very stereotypically “straight” appearance in the office, so Barbara would have no reason to suspect that he is gay.
Only OP’s three closest coworkers are aware that he is even getting married. So when OP sends out the invites, everyone else will learn that he is gay and engaged.
Now OP doesn’t know how to approach this without making Barbara feel left out because she’s going to learn about the wedding and that he is gay.
OP is struggling between not wanting Barbara’s opinion of him to change and not wanting her to be hurt by this.
OP’s friend advised him to very subtly broach the subject of gay marriage or going to a gay wedding in a chat with her and see what she thinks before inviting her.
He took to Reddit to ask for opinions and several Redditors shared their thoughts.
One Reddit user wrote, “You should talk to her. I would think it highly unlikely that she doesn’t know you are gay if the office is that small. Ask her if she would like to go but give her the option to decline if she has any objection to it and you won’t be offended.”
Another Redditor commented, “Be blunt. “I’d like to invite you to my wedding. I’m gay and marrying a man. I know your religious beliefs, so I don’t want you to be uncomfortable. But I also didn’t want you to feel excluded because I do like you and would love for you to attend. But I don’t want you to be surprised at the wedding. You don’t have to answer now, but I am going to give you an invitation. Just RSVP when you feel ready.”
So what are your thoughts? What do you think OP should do in this situation?
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Roquillo Tebar. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.