Her Friend’s Marriage Collapses in a Sea of Lies and Betrayal, and She’s Not Sure How to Help Her Through It.

Her friend’s relationship ended after 38 years of marriage, then her ex-husband moved on to seeing another woman. This left her devastated and struggling to recover despite counseling and support of her friend.

Getting Divorced

Alice, a 62-year-old woman, and her close friend, who is also 60 years old, have been friends for a long time. They often meet their respective husbands for dinners and activities, and they are part of a larger group of friends. 

But, a year ago, Alice’s husband, Paul, who is also 60 years old, told her he was no longer happy in their marriage after almost 38 years together. 

This news came as a shock to Alice, and she suggested counseling, but Paul only went to one session before deciding it was not going to help. 

This devastated Alice, and they ended up selling their house, although they lost money on it, and each bought a separate house.

Keeping Things Civil

Despite the separation, Paul still helps Alice with some home maintenance tasks, and they are keeping things civil between them.

Alice seemed to cope with the separation until she found out, through mutual friends at work, that Paul was seeing a woman he worked with, and likely had been seeing her while they were still married. 

This revelation shook Alice to the core, and she has struggled to recover ever since. 

Even a year later, she still bursts into tears whenever she sees her friend, who is worried about her. Alice has been going to counseling, but her friend is not sure how much it is helping her.

A Shoulder to Cry On

Despite being reluctant to visit her friend, Alice agrees to come over, but she is worried about being a downer. 

Her friend assures her that she can cry on her shoulder anytime she wants, but she wonders if there is anything else she can do to help besides just listening. 

She believes Alice’s state of mind is not improving, and she wonders if the fact that Alice keeps in touch with Paul and hears about him from mutual friends is keeping the pain fresh.

Help Her Recover A Gray Divorce

Although they have no children or other ties that would keep them in touch otherwise, they are still in contact.

Given the circumstances, Alice’s friend wonders if there is any way she can help her recover from this devastating situation.

One user suggested, “I second the view that your friend might benefit from antidepressants. Your friend is processing a massive attachment trauma, and that will naturally take some time. One year is peanuts compared to a 38-year marriage. Grief has no timeline, and what your friend is feeling is very normal.”

Another said, “You can’t. She’s experienced what is called a “gray divorce.” If his bank account is together, he can get a sugar baby or head to Asia and settle down for the rest of his days, but for her it’s a wrap at 62. 38 years is a lifetime, it’s the equivalent of a death. Best you can do is be a shoulder to cry on.”

What do you think she should do? Have you ever needed to help a friend through a tough divorce? What seemed to work?

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The post Her Friend’s Marriage Collapses in a Sea of Lies and Betrayal, and She’s Not Sure How to Help Her Through It. first appeared on The Net Worth Of.   

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Source: Reddit