A woman took to Reddit recently to find out if she was out of order for sitting with her brother-in-law instead of cooking! This is the full story.
What Should Have Been a Family Holiday
V, 29 recently went on a holiday with her husband, his parents, his sister, and her husband, Paul.
V and her husband were going to another location the following week, but they tagged along with his family because a lot of their extended family lived in the country they were visiting.
V didn’t particularly get along with her husband’s family, but she still joined them on the trip.
V didn’t like Paul because he was always trying to prove that he was a nice guy.
Lounging by the Pool
However, there were times when V found herself seeking out Paul for conversation at events – they had some things in common, and the in-laws both disliked them, so it was nice for V to have someone in the same boat as her to talk to.
On this particular day, V’s husband had gone to a business meeting, so V stayed at the rental house. S
he saw Paul sitting by the pool and went to sit with him. They were there for a few minutes when V’s sister-in-law (SIL) came out and asked V to come inside and make lunch with her and her mother-in-law (MIL).
V declined the invitation, saying she wasn’t hungry and didn’t cook. SIL seemed annoyed and went back inside.
SIL And MIL Were Upset
A few minutes later, MIL came out and asked V to come to the kitchen. V declined again and said she was fine where she was.
Later on, V mentioned that she was going to get a drink, but Paul offered to get it for her instead.
When he came back with the drink, he mentioned that SIL and MIL were upset with V. However, V brushed it off and went out to town for a while.
When V returned to the rental house, she walked in on her in-laws, telling her husband that she was treating them like “the help” and flirting with Paul!
Family Trips off the Table
V denied the accusations, but her in-laws didn’t believe her. MIL insisted that V’s husband should stick up for them.
He defended V and told his in-laws to let it go. However, the argument had already caused a rift, and V’s in-laws were standoffish for the rest of the trip.
V felt bad because she thought future trips with her husband’s family were off the table.
She spoke to her mother about the incident, and her mother said that she understood where the in-laws were coming from, as some families expect women to cook and serve their husbands.
Tossing Salad Because She Is a Woman?
However, V’s mother also pointed out that V wasn’t obligated to performatively toss salad around just because she was a woman.
V started to wonder if the drama was partly her fault. She reflected on the fact that she didn’t get along with her husband’s family and that she had declined to make lunch with them.
However, V also knew that she wasn’t obligated to do something she didn’t want to do. V decided to talk to her husband about how she felt and to see if they could come up with a solution for future family trips.
Was V the fool in this situation? She was under no obligation to make lunch or to perform traditional gender roles.
She Could Have Been More Polite
However, she could have handled the situation better by being more tactful with her in-laws. The rift that the argument caused could have been avoided if V had declined the invitation to make lunch in a more polite manner.
But she did not want to cook or eat lunch, and her sister-in-law’s reaction to her declining was unwarranted. Also, V’s in-laws accusing her of flirting with Paul is baseless and unfair.
Her husband’s support in this situation was commendable, and V should work with him to come up with a solution that works for both of them when it comes to future family trips.
She’s Not Obligated to Cook
After sharing her story on Reddit, the responses were overwhelmingly in V’s favor, with most people agreeing that she was not in the wrong.
Many people pointed out that V was not obligated to cook if she wasn’t hungry and that the expectation that women are always cooks is unfair.
They said that SIL and MIL created all the drama when they lied and attacked her to her husband. They also suggested that V and her husband would be happier without being forced into a situation like this again.
One commenter said that the drama was mostly about Paul, not tossing salad.
Suggest a Girl’s Only Lunch
The commenter pointed out that SIL might have had an issue with V spending time with her husband – especially when he went into the house to get a drink for V while she lounged by the pool while SIL was in the kitchen making lunch.
Another commenter suggested that if there is a next time, V should suggest a ‘girl’s lunch’ at a restaurant, just for her and SIL, where SIL might appreciate a family member supporting her in being as equal in her marriage as V is.
V’s relationship with her husband’s family seems strained, and this incident seems to be the latest in a long line of butting heads.
Hopefully, they can work through their issues with some time, but they’ll need an open and honest dialogue for that to work!
What do you think? Is V in the wrong? Have you ever had a dispute with your in-laws?
He Went to the Gym and Took off His Wedding Ring, She Saw Him, and Has a Meltdown
He’s Going to Miss the Birth of His First Child So He Can Extend His Next Business Trip
The post Her In-Laws Hate Her, but They Hit a New Level When They Told Her Husband That She Had Been Flirting With Her Brother-In-Law! first appeared on The Net Worth Of.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / ShotPrime Studio. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.
Source: Reddit