This is the tale of a sibling argument involving Carrie, a soon-to-be bride, and her trans sister, Ashley. Carrie took to Reddit to find out if she was in the wrong for not wanting her sister to wear a dress to a wedding. Let’s take a look at what happened.
Her Sister Came Out as Transgender
Carrie, at the age of 23, was thrilled about her upcoming nuptials. Her sister Ashley, three years her senior, had shared a significant life change with the family just recently.
She had come out as transgender, a brave decision Carrie fully supported, having known about Ashley’s true identity for the past five years.
The sisters shared a close bond, so when Ashley decided to present as a woman for the first time in public at Carrie’s wedding, a conflict arose.
Carrie received a message from Ashley showcasing her chosen outfit, a provocative, tight cocktail dress with a plunging neckline. Ashley sought Carrie’s approval, but this only amplified Carrie’s existing concerns.
Would She Be Out of the Spotlight?
Carrie, being the bride, had anticipated that her wedding day would primarily center around her and her fiancé.
However, she felt that Ashley’s public debut, especially in such a revealing outfit, would draw the spotlight away from them.
The prospect of her sister’s transformation becoming the talk of the day left her uneasy.
Carrie expressed her concerns to Ashley, explaining that she felt uncomfortable with her wedding being the platform for Ashley’s first public appearance as a woman.
She Was Accused of Being Transphobic and Craving Attention!
She feared the attention would shift towards Ashley, overshadowing her big day. It wasn’t an easy conversation, but Carrie felt she needed to express her feelings honestly.
This didn’t go down well with Ashley. She felt hurt and accused Carrie of being transphobic and craving attention!
Ashley’s girlfriend even reached out to Carrie, informing her about how deeply upset Ashley was, urging Carrie to apologize and accept Ashley’s choice of attire.
Carrie was in a difficult situation. She wanted to support her sister’s journey but also wanted to preserve the sanctity of her wedding day. She wondered if she had done something wrong.
She Was in a Dilemma
Should she apologize and give her blessing to Ashley’s outfit choice? Or should she stand her ground to ensure her wedding day remained focused on her and her fiancé?
Redditors responded to her dilemma en mass, offering advice and their thoughts. Users thought that the dress Ashley had chosen was wildly inappropriate for a wedding.
They also thought that a wedding was neither the time nor place for her to come out as trans, as it would detract from the big day.
It’s Her Day!
One user said, “You’re absolutely right; making a statement like this for the first time would likely draw all of the attention from you. It’s like proposing or announcing a pregnancy at a wedding; you just don’t do it.
This day isn’t about your sister; it’s about you and your fiancé. This boundary does not make you transphobic, but her refusal to honor it sure makes her selfish.”
Days later, and following the advice of Redditors, Carrie and Ashley started talking things over by text. Carrie said she was sorry if she had made Ashley feel like she had to hide who she really was.
She told Ashley that she didn’t have any problem with her wearing a dress, but she felt that the dress Ashley had picked was a bit too flashy for a wedding.
They Talked to Each Other
Plus, she was worried that Ashley’s big change would take the spotlight away from her and her future husband.
Ashley listened to what Carrie had to say and then told her she felt like she was being pushed to come out, which didn’t feel good.
Hearing this, Carrie told Ashley that she loved her and would always be there for her. She and her fiancé then decided that they didn’t care if others wanted to focus more on Ashley at their wedding.
If that was the case, those people weren’t important to them.
They Both Want To Look Back With Happiness
Some folks had pointed out that Ashley would want to be herself in the wedding photos so she could look back on them with happiness, without any bad feelings.
This made sense to Carrie, and it helped her understand Ashley’s point of view a little better.
After talking things over, Ashley showed Carrie some other dresses she could wear. Some of them were still pretty showy, but others were just right in Carrie’s eyes.
There was no big showdown or anything like that. It was just two sisters working things out after a fight like sisters do sometimes!
What do you think about how things turned out? How would you have handled this situation if you were in Carrie’s shoes?
The post Her Sister’s Trans Gender Identity and Insecurities Put a Strain on Her Wedding Plans first appeared on The Net Worth Of.
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