A young woman riled up Redditors and landed some kudos after she told her parents she would put them in a home. The backstory that follows is loaded with family drama and flawed assumptions.
She Had Her Life Mapped Out
OP is a young woman who lives in a pricey city on the west coast of the United States. She grew up in South Asia but bolted from her parent’s home at the first chance she got.
OP loves her parents, but they made it clear all her life that they expected her to spend her life at home caring for them and her older brother.
But OP had other plans, so she worked hard in school and landed a partial scholarship. Then she worked a job all through college to pay her expenses and earned a full scholarship for her graduate work.
After all that schoolwork, OP came out with two degrees and almost no debt. She also set herself up for a career she loves and married a wonderful man.
They Were Expecting Their First Child
OP and her husband are now expecting their first child, and they both agreed that they want two kids total. They will stop at that point, with her hubby going for a vasectomy.
Meanwhile, OP’s parents paid for her brother’s education, and he has also built a good life for himself. But he has a big family, with five kids and a wife who stays at home to raise them.
OP’s brother sends all his kids to private schools, so he has a substantial financial burden as the breadwinner.
Though his wife also has a degree, they have chosen to be a one-income family, which OP says is their right.
Her Parents Told Her They Were Selling Their Home and Coming To Live With Her
Recently, though, OP’s parents told her they were selling their home and coming to live with her and her husband.
They knew that OP had a large home with an extra suite, so they figured it was their right as her parents.
But OP talked it over with her husband and told him she didn’t want her parents there. He agreed, especially since the young couple had their life planned out.
So OP told her parents they could not move in with her, but she offered an alternative.
“It’s Your Duty!”
In particular, she told them to send her the money from the proceeds of selling their home, and she would find them a lovely retirement community to move into and pay their bills until they died.
OP’s parents hated that idea and told her it was her duty as their daughter to take care of them in their old age. They called her ungrateful for even suggesting anything else.
At that point, OP was done with her parents’ drama. So she sent them enough money to pay for their rent and living expenses for a year, and she told them to go through her lawyer if they had anything else to say to her.
Now, OP is hounded by family in the United States and her parents’ home country. They think she is cruel and ungrateful, and they want her to take her folks in.
And “You’re Making the Family Look Bad”
Like her parents, the rest of OP’s family is telling her it’s her duty to take care of them now.
OP’s brother got in on the act, too, telling her she was making the family look bad. He thinks she should take care of their parents, too, and doesn’t understand why she’s fighting it.
But OP gave her brother a couple of choices if he didn’t like her plan. He could either take in their parents himself or never discuss the topic again. Failing that, OP was prepared to cut him off, too.
Was She Being Too Harsh?
Now OP wonders if she was too harsh with her parents and brother, but she has no intention of changing her mind.
Redditors overwhelmingly support OP’s decision not to allow her parents to move in with her. They say it’s her life, and she doesn’t owe them anything.
Many commenters are in awe of OP and think she has amazing courage to be so strong in the face of such hefty family pressures.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / fizkes. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.