A recent post on Reddit blew up when a man asked the board if he was in the wrong for sulking around the house because his wife won’t let him be present for his son’s birth.
Brought Tears to His Dad’s Eyes
This father-to-be is in a challenging situation. He’s a 28-year-old man who has been with his 26-year-old wife for seven years. The couple has always talked about having kids, and this dad has always wanted to be present for the birth of their children.
His father, who had since passed away, had told him and his siblings countless times about how much the experience had meant to him. It had brought tears to his dad’s eyes, despite being someone not known for showing emotion.
He had cherished the moment and was grateful for all of his children – his son desperately wanted this experience for himself.
Praying For a Safe Delivery
The mother-to-be is eight months pregnant, and the pregnancy has been difficult for both of them.She has suffered miscarriages in the past, and they have both been praying to God for the safe delivery of their child.
But despite her husband’s desires and the couple’s history, she refuses to let him be present during the birth.
The original poster (OP) has tried everything he could think of to change her mind. He’s begged, pleaded, and tried to reason with her, but to no avail.
Wife Wants Her Mom
She has made it clear that she needs her mother with her and that he was not welcome in the delivery room.
He understands that her comfort and safety are the top priorities and that the birth of their child is the most important thing.
He doesn’t want to stress her out any further, so he’s tried to come to terms with the situation on his own. But it’s been difficult to accept the reality that he would not be able to witness the birth of his child.
Beaten Puppy Dog Eyes
The OP has been feeling down about it for days, and his wife has noticed his change in demeanor. She has become increasingly annoyed with him, accusing him of sulking and acting like a “beaten puppy dog.”
Today she took her abuse to a new level.
She told the OP that his puppy dog act was making her livid, and she started hurling more insults his way!
She scolded him for not being strong enough, asked him why it mattered so much, and then said, “are you going to act this weak in front of our son? You’re a man, and you need to act like a man and get the hell over it!”
Tears in the Car
Her words cut the OP deeply. He felt like crying but was scared his wife would think even less of him and get angrier, so he lied to her and said he was going to get groceries. Instead, he retreated to his car to try and calm down and collect his thoughts.
He’s always dreamed of holding his child in his arms the moment they came into the world. But his wife has made it clear that he was not welcome in the delivery room, no matter what.
The OP feels that his wife no longer understands him. She’s been so focused on their child’s pregnancy and birth that she’s forgotten about him and his feelings.
He’s Going Through It Too!
He knows it’s a stressful time for her, but he wishes she would remember that he was going through it too.
He’s always been there for her, supporting her through the miscarriages and the difficult pregnancy, and had never complained or asked for anything in return. All he wanted was to be there for the birth of their child, to hold their child in his arms and share that special moment with his wife.
The OP knew he needed to be strong for her during this difficult time, but he couldn’t help feeling like she was dismissing his feelings. He felt like he had lost his voice in this situation and was struggling to accept that he wouldn’t be present for the birth.
He Feels Victimized
This dad-to-be is wondering if his wife’s refusal to let him be present during the birth reflects their relationship. Maybe she didn’t trust him, or perhaps she didn’t see him as an equal partner in their journey.
He feels hurt and alone and wonders if their relationship is strong enough to withstand this challenge.
The OP needed an outsider’s opinion, so while he was in the car “getting groceries,” he took to Reddit to ask if he was wrong, but Reddit thought he was the victim in this story.
They thought his wife’s condescending attitude to him was cruel and that she had been ‘misogynistic’ towards him.
Verbally Abusive Wife
One Redditor said that his wife’s reaction was “totally uncalled for. You said that it matters to you because you care about them and the moment, which is a valid reason. And her belittling/gendered statement about being weak is really pretty horrible. You do need to be supportive of her delivery choices, but that doesn’t give her a free pass to be so verbally abusive.”
What do you think about this story? Should he “man up,” or is his wife being unreasonable by not caring for his feelings?
The post His Abusive Wife Denies Him the Gift of Being at His Baby’s Birth and Tells Him to Man-Up! first appeared on The Net Worth Of.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / SB Arts Media. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.