Janitor Outwits Corporate Red Tape in Cunning Window Cleaning Heist

Our protagonist, or OP as we’ll call him, found himself in a monetary bind some months ago. Seeking a quick injection of cash, he opted for nocturnal employment, taking on a janitorial role.

Forbidden From Purchasing Work-Related Items

His new employer, however, had an odd policy. Employees were forbidden from purchasing any work-related items; everything had to come through the corporation’s purchasing department.

Whether it was a high-end server or a $4 bottle of Windex, you needed to requisition it. But it wasn’t you, per se, who made the requisition. 

You had to report your needs to your manager, who then carried out the requisition process. OP inquired about the excessive protocol, only to receive a vague response regarding liability.

Deciding it was best not to question authority, he carried on with his tasks.

Some weeks into the job, OP found himself out of Windex. He notified his manager, expecting to receive more soon.

Buying It Himself Would Be Corporate Treason

A week later, the Windex hadn’t arrived. Reminded of the need, the manager admitted to forgetting the requisition, promising to attend to it promptly.

Another week, still no Windex. Another reminder met with a lecture about the manager’s busy schedule and his inability to prioritize a trivial bottle of window cleaner.

Offering to purchase it himself, OP was met with a stern gaze, as if he’d suggested committing corporate treason. Choosing not to argue the absurdity of the situation, OP nodded in agreement, promising patience.

Yet, the windows and mirrors were suffering, and so was OP’s reputation.

A Mischievous Yet Brilliant Idea

Regular water did little to rectify the situation. Then, an idea sprang to life in OP’s mind. A mischievous yet brilliant idea.

OP purchased a bottle of Windex and brought it to work in his lunchbox, unsuspected. A couple of hours later, the facility’s glass was sparkling like never before.

To avoid suspicion, he thanked his manager for ordering the Windex, triggering a reaction akin to someone being thanked for providing inappropriate material.

The manager, incensed, sought the individual responsible for the Windex infiltration.

Playing Innocent

Playing innocent, OP feigned ignorance, suggesting that anyone tired of dirty windows could have brought it in. The manager was now on a mission to find the Windex smuggler.

He, along with two other managers and a security officer, scoured security footage in search of the culprit.

Despite the previous resistance to spending time on a mere $4 cleaner, they were now fully committed to the cause.

In the end, they couldn’t find who had smuggled in the Windex, and OP’s supply remained untouched. Thus, OP deemed his plan an absolute success.

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Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Cast Of Thousands. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.

Source: Reddit