A worried mother took to Reddit to ask for opinions after she told her daughter she could not use her college fund to pay for her wedding. Now she’s second-guessing her decision and looking for direction. Here’s the full story.
They Started a College Fund for Each Child
OP is a 43-year-old woman who is married to a 50-year-old man. They have four children together: daughters who are 22, 17, and 5 years old and a son who is 15 years old.
When they found out OP was pregnant with each child, the couple started a college fund for that child. OP’s husband has a well-paying job, so there is quite a bit of money in each fund.
OP and her husband never told their kids that each had money for college because they didn’t think it mattered.
OP’s oldest daughter got pregnant when she was 16 years old. She dropped out of school to have the baby, and the young father stayed in her life.
Mom Always Wanted Her Daughter To Return to School
Now, OP’s daughter has two children six years later and is pregnant again. She and her boyfriend plan to get married someday, but they have nothing solid in the works.
OP always expected her daughter to return to school someday, but she doesn’t seem to have any plans for that, either. And, while the young couple has done OK financially, the kids’ dad has had trouble keeping work since the pandemic hit.
And OP’s daughter has trouble finding a job since she doesn’t have a high school diploma.
Meanwhile, OP’s second daughter is a senior in high school and getting ready for college. Her parents helped her make all the financial arrangements, which included using the funds they set up for her.
They Thought They Could Get Married With the Funds!
So now OP’s second daughter knows there was college money for her all along.
Recently, OP’s oldest daughter was talking to her sister about her college plans. When the older girl asked how her sis would pay, the younger girl told her the money would come from her college fund.
That surprised the older sister, and she asked her mother if she had a college fund, too. OP told her the truth: yes, there was a college fund for the older girl.
Before OP could say anything else, her daughter dialed up her boyfriend. She told him excitedly that they could finally afford to get married and put a down payment on a house.
… But the Money Was Only Allocated for Education
When the young lady got off the phone, OP broke the news that the money was only for education, not a wedding or a house.
The next day, OP’s daughter called her in tears. She had been stewing about the college fund all night and thought it wasn’t fair for her mom to keep her money from her.
OP told her daughter the money wasn’t hers, but belonged to OP and her husband. OP offered a compromise, however.
If the girl returned to school, she could use the college fund as intended. And then OP would let her have whatever was left over to use as she wished.
His Family Accuses Her of Setting Her Daughter up for Failure
OP’s daughter hung up, and their communication has been sparse since then. The daughter’s boyfriend’s family has also been harassing OP and her husband, accusing them of setting their child up for failure.
In a follow-up, OP reports that her daughter has agreed to get her GED and then go to trade school. If she finishes with money left over, she can have it.
OP isn’t thrilled with the outcome, and the family still has some hard feelings. But OP is relieved that they’re at least able to move on.
Redditors are split on this story, with many agreeing with OP that her daughter was never entitled to the money.
Should They Have Told the Kids About the Money When They Were Young?
Others think that OP and her husband should have told their kids about the money when they were young. They wonder how knowing college was an option might have affected the oldest daughter’s choices.
Some commenters, though, take OP to task for being dismissive of her grandkids’ dad. They think her attitude toward him is the type of behavior that led to the blowup in the first place.
She Called the Police Because He Was Doing His Job! But He Was in the Right
The post Mother’s College Fund Ultimatum Ignites Family Feud: Wedding Dreams Shattered or a Second Chance at Education? first appeared on The Net Worth Of.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / fizkes. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.
Source: Reddit