In a recent Reddit post, a user shared her dilemma regarding her sister coming out. Here’s what happened.
Coming Out as Queer
OP’s sister, who’s in her 40s, underwent a journey of self-discovery and came out as queer about six months ago.
Engaging in a very serious relationship, she moved in with her new partner, along with her two children, after a couple of months, and they eventually got engaged.
Interestingly, this was the first person she dated after embracing her identity and joining queer apps.
OP shared that her sister tended to enter relationships swiftly, at times even more quickly.
Rushing Into Relationships
However, these relationships often came to an end as she realized she hadn’t fully known her partners before committing to marriage.
Each time, she made vows to exercise more caution in her future endeavors.
But things didn’t change, despite the gender being different this time.
She had disclosed her identity to their immediate family, including aunts and uncles.
A Heartbreaking Reaction
Hailing from a conservative Christian fundamentalist family, they responded exactly as expected – a reaction that proved heartbreaking but unsurprising.
Interestingly, the only family members unaware of her identity were OP’s elderly grandparents, who were also intensely conservative and held homophobic views.
OP’s feelings toward them were complex due to their beliefs, but despite that, they were important in her life.
When OP’s sister initially came out, their mother requested that she refrain from sharing this aspect of herself with the grandparents.
She Wouldn’t Hide Her Identity
But OP’s sister recently informed them that she would not hide her identity from anyone during OP’s wedding weekend, and thus, the grandparents were likely to find out.
As a result, OP candidly asked her not to do so.
OP shared that she was the only family member who celebrated her sister’s coming out and maintained a regular relationship with her.
Attention Stealing Conflict
Her desire was for the wedding weekend not to revolve around her sister’s identity as a queer person but rather to be as peaceful and enjoyable as possible.
Most of OP’s family conversations seemed to entail OP defending and affirming her sister’s identity.
OP mentioned that she didn’t imply that her sister owed her anything by stating this but aimed to communicate that the engagement period with her fiancé had largely centered around the conflict between her sister and their family.
Not the Appropriate Time
Upon requesting her to avoid coming out to their grandparents during the wedding weekend, her sister became emotional and tearfully expressed that she could no longer bear the burden of hiding her true self.
Her sister conveyed that their grandparents were among the people who had forced her into concealing her identity, and she no longer cared if they were upset about her coming out.
Despite this, OP remained steadfast in her request.
Causing a Scene
She took to Reddit to ask whether she was in the wrong for making this request, and more than five hundred comments poured in saying that she was not wrong.
One Reddit user wrote, “NTA. Your wedding isn’t an appropriate time for this. She’s forty years old, she should know better.”
Another user commented, “In fact, considering that you very much support her when the rest of the family doesn’t, it makes me angry on your behalf that she refuses to not cause a big scene at your wedding.”.
The post Queer Sister Wants to Upstage Bride, Making Wedding Into Conflict Filled ‘Coming Out Party’ first appeared on The Net Worth Of.
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