Richard is facing a difficult choice. He’s about to get married to the man he loves, but he hasn’t told his family because they disapprove of same-sex relationships. His partner is upset about being kept a secret, and Richard is at a loss. He took to Reddit to ask the community’s advice. Let’s take a look at what they said.
He Finally Felt Free To Be Himself
Richard, a 32-year-old man, was in a tough spot. He had left his home country and moved to a new place where he felt free to be himself.
In his home country, people didn’t accept those who loved people of the same gender. Richard’s own family felt this way too. So, for a long time, he kept a big secret from them: he was gay.
Richard came from a country where many people didn’t accept gay people. His family was one of them. When he moved to a new country, he felt free to be himself and lived openly as a gay man.
But back home, his family had no idea. Richard always thought he would tell them someday. But the idea of losing them because of the truth was scary.
His Boyfriend Asked Him To Marry Him! – “YES!”
When he met his boyfriend, Richard told him about his family and how they didn’t know he was gay. His boyfriend was understanding because he knew how hard it was for him.
But he also had a painful past. Before Richard, he had loved someone who wasn’t open about their relationship, and this person left him to keep their secret.
A few months ago, Richard’s boyfriend asked him to marry him. Richard was over the moon and said yes. As they started planning, a big question came up.
Who would they invite from Richard’s home country? Richard thought about some friends but not his family.
Should He Tell His Family the Truth?
This is when his boyfriend told him something important. Before they married, Richard had to decide whether to tell his family the truth.
His boyfriend wasn’t worried about Richard’s safety but was scared. He was scared because he thought if Richard’s family found out and got angry, Richard might leave him to make his family happy.
This made Richard very upset. He loved his boyfriend and didn’t want to lose him. But the idea of telling his family and losing them was also very sad.
He tried to tell his boyfriend that he would always choose him, but his boyfriend was still worried.
He Was Worried About Their Reaction
Richard talked to his friends to see what they thought. His friends from his home country understood why he was scared.
They thought he should be careful about risking his relationship with his family.
But his new friends didn’t get it. They couldn’t understand why he wanted to keep his family in his life if they wouldn’t accept him.
One of his friends even told him he was selfish and hurting his boyfriend because he “wants to have his cake and eat it.” Richard was really confused.
“It Would Be Selfish To Proceed With the Wedding While Remaining Closeted”
He loved his boyfriend a lot. But the thought of his older parents getting shocked or hurt by the news was scary. He didn’t want to hurt anyone.
Richard had a big question: Was it wrong to want to be with the person he loved and keep his family? He felt that he should be able to have both. He took to Reddit in search of advice.
Many Redditors shared stories and opinions on Richard’s situation, underscoring the implications of his decision.
They felt it would be selfish of Richard to proceed with the wedding while remaining closeted, considering his partner’s unease.
Seeds of Resentment Would Undermine Their Marriage
Such a choice, they suggested, could sow seeds of resentment that would undermine their marriage.
Many sympathized with Richard’s partner, understanding that being kept a secret could make someone feel devalued and ashamed.
One user said, “When you get married, it’s not just your life. You share a life. If you don’t come out, you will be forcing your husband to hide part of himself forever. He’s done it so far, but it’s pretty unfair to expect it forever. You say you’d choose him over your family, but you’re not doing that.”
What Would You Do?
In the end, Richard faces a complicated choice between love and family. The solution wasn’t straightforward, with strong feelings and emotions on both sides.
Many suggested seeking professional advice to navigate this tricky situation, emphasizing the importance of understanding and communication.
But what do you think? If you were in Richard’s shoes, would you prioritize your partner’s feelings or your family’s potential reactions?
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / spixel. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.