She Called Him a Little Boy When He Accused Her of Cheating the System

A young woman took to Reddit recently after a fight with her boyfriend. She called him childish when he made sexist jokes after she landed a big job. This is the full story.

He Was the Breadwinner

OP is an industry consultant who took an unusual path to her current role. Her long-time boyfriend works in cybersecurity, and he has been in IT his entire career.

The two met in an English class at the liberal arts college they attended. But, while her boyfriend was more interested in technology, OP stuck with the humanities.

Coming out of school, OP’s boyfriend landed a fairly traditional tech job that paid well, while OP herself went into nonprofit work.

He was clearly the breadwinner in the couple, and probably would be forever, given their career choices.

She Worked in the Nonprofit Sector

But, eventually, the broad views of her liberal arts education and her strong experience in the nonprofit sector gave her a skillset that few possessed.

She was a hot commodity in certain niches, and the corporate world started calling.

One company made her an offer she couldn’t refuse.

When she became a consultant, OP didn’t tell her boyfriend much about it other than to say that the pay level was amazing compared to what she had been making before.

She Got a Corporate Role and Earned More Than Him

She didn’t want to say much more, because she was fairly sure she would be making more at her new gig than her tech-savvy boyfriend did in his job. They kept their finances separate, so there was no need to tell him.

But then they decided to move to a new place, and the application required them both to disclose their income. Suddenly, they both could see that OP was making 30% more than her boyfriend.

That’s when the troubles started. OP noticed that her boyfriend seemed defensive and maybe even hurt. And he started making jokes that she didn’t think were really jokes at all.

His big gripe is how, he says, she “cheated the system” to get where she is. He doesn’t think any English major should be making the money she does, and especially not more than he does.

She Spearheaded the Company

OP admits that a sorority sister referred her for  her first job out of college, but that was a nonprofit job with a meager salary of $22K per year.

The boyfriend is also chafed about OP’s first big corporate promotion. She volunteered to spearhead the company’s first stab at creating a diversity, equity, and inclusion program, and it turned out to be a success.

That earned her accolades and a bump up the corporate ladder. Her boyfriend says that a white man would have never had opportunity to become the face of a DEI program, as she did.

While OP says that might be true, she also thinks it’s true that few people of any race or gender would have put in the work or had the skill to accomplish what she did.

Apparently She Cheated the System

Her boyfriend even dug into their shared past. He said she got a big break in school because she attended college on a scholarship for a “promising female writer”, when there was no similar scholarship for males.

When the boyfriend’s team at work, he complained to OP that it was a diversity hire and just another example of a woman cheating the system.

Fed up, OP told him that he was being an insecure little boy. He called her a Karen, and they stopped speaking for days.

Now, OP wonders what the future holds for the couple.

She Had to Overcome Many Biases

Most Redditors side with OP and say that she has not cheated the system in any way. In fact, they say, she has overcome many biases against women to succeed.

A lot of commenters say the boyfriend is toxic and sexist, and they advise OP to run.

Others say the couple needs some counseling if they hope to work through their problems. 

What do you think of this story? Did OP cheat the system to get to where she is, or is her boyfriend just a jealous little boy?

And should she stay with him or move on from his negativity?

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Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / fizkes. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.

Source: Reddit