A honked off dad took to Reddit to ask for opinions after he refused to help his ex-wife when she fell on hard times. Was it a case of bad karma or pettiness? Here is the full story so you can judge for yourself.
They Tried To Save Their Marriage
OP has two sons, ages 16 and 14, with his ex-wife. They share joint custody of the boys, but OP has as little contact as possible with his ex.
While they were still married, OP’s ex-wife decided she wanted to return to school to get a better job. OP was all for it and told her he would support her.
But even while she was taking classes, OP and his wife started having trouble. He loved her and wanted to keep the family together, so he did everything he could to make it work.
OP’s ex went through the motions of trying to save the marriage, too, and they worked on it for years.
… But Went Through a Nasty Divorce
But as soon as she got her degree and landed her new job, OP’s wife told him she wanted out of the marriage.
Even worse, she told him it had been over for years but she stayed just so she could finish her schoolwork.
It was a nasty divorce, but at least OP saw his boys half the time. And because his ex was now making more money than he was, she had to pay child support.
It didn’t take too long until OP’s ex-wife remarried and started having children with her new husband. Everything was rosy for her until her last child was born.
They Got Slammed by the Pandemic and Various Illnesses
Then, about a year before COVID hit, OP’s ex-wife’s husband was diagnosed with cancer. And then, one of their kids was diagnosed with a long-term medical condition.
As if all of that wasn’t hard enough for OP’s ex, her job got slammed by the pandemic, like so many others.
With things tough at their mom’s house, OP’s sons started spending more time at his place.
And, with a reduced income, his ex-wife went to court and got her child support payments reduced, too.
She Wanted Him To Pay Child Support
But that wasn’t enough to right the ship, and OP’s ex recently had to sell her house and move to a smaller place. She tried to get her child support payments suspended completely, but the court said no.
That’s when OP’s ex came to him for help. She said her back was against the wall and she needed him to help her family.
OP’s ex-wife basically wanted him to give back the child support payments to her each month. She said he should want to help since her troubles impacted their sons, too.
But OP flatly refused to help his ex-wife in any way, and he reminded her about how she had used him for three years to get what she wanted.
He Had No Sympathy for Her
He had no sympathy for her at all and wouldn’t give her any money.
Seeing that she wasn’t making any headway, OP’s ex turned spiteful instead.
She told him she wished she had cheated while they were married because using him for money wasn’t harsh enough.
Then she called OP mean and said he would be why her children starve.
“You No Responsibility To Support His Ex-Wife and Her Husband”
Later that same day, her husband texted OP and said he hoped his sons would hate their father when they found out he refused to help.
OP can’t even believe his ex-wife expected him to help her after the way she treated him. He has no plans to change his mind but needs to talk through the situation with his sons.
Redditors overwhelmingly support OP’s decision in this case.
They think he has no responsibility to support his ex-wife and her husband, and that’s especially true, given how spiteful she is.
Some commenters do think that OP is holding onto an unhealthy amount of anger over how his ex treated him. However, even they don’t think he should be paying for her living expenses.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Cast Of Thousands. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.