The Fading Dream of ‘I Do’ – A Heartfelt Dive into Why Modern Love Shuns the Altar

Marriage expectations are changing among Generation Z and Millenials. In a survey by the Thriving Center of Psychology, two out of five people said marriage is an outdated tradition and unnecessary for a fulfilling and committed relationship. 

Marriage Is a “Prison”

The dream of getting married, buying a house, and having children is less prevalent in today’s society. Many unmarried couples living together feel that marriage would not benefit their lives.

There is no doubt that the concept of marriage has evolved over the decades. What was once a business or political arrangement between families has become a costly ceremony that ends in divorce half the time.

Members of the BuzzFeed Community were asked their reasons for not wanting to get married and their answers all varied.

One member said she never dreamed of getting married because her parents’ marriage wasn’t good. She sees marriage as a “prison” and says she values her freedom and independence too much to get married.

“You Can Commit to Someone Without Paying the Government To Be Allowed To Do So. And That Way, You Don’t Have To Pay the Government Again To Get Out of It”

Another member stated that debt was his reason for not getting married. Because of his student loan debt, he doesn’t want to risk his partner not being able to buy a home or take out a loan of their own.

Combining your finances with someone else can be daunting because you never know how someone else handles their money. Plus, if you marry someone with a lot of debt, that debt also becomes your debt.

After divorcing her abusive ex-husband, another member was on the hook for the credit cards he stopped paying on. While he was in jail for the abuse, she was stuck paying his bills while simultaneously trying to heal from a broken and abusive marriage. Talk about exhaustion.

Bringing the government and creditors into a relationship is not enticing for some people. Another member’s opinion on marriage is that “you can commit to someone without paying the government to be allowed to do so. And that way, you don’t have to pay the government AGAIN to get out of it.”

“Traditional Heterosexual Marriage Doesn’t Benefit Women”

Getting a divorce is complicated, expensive, and messy. In today’s society, many people would rather not get married just in case it doesn’t work out and the marriage ends in divorce.

Whoever entered the marriage with more money now has to split it in half with their divorcing partner.

Another BuzzFeed Community member said, “I have never cared about [marriage]. As an atheist, I have no religious reason to get married. The whole tax incentive thing never seemed like a good enough reason to commit yourself to another person.” He doesn’t see any benefit in changing his relationship status to married.

There is also the opinion that “traditional heterosexual marriage doesn’t benefit women.” In today’s society, most families can’t get by on one paycheck, so the husband and the wife work outside the home. Even though both are working full-time, cooking, cleaning, and caring for the children is still seen as the woman’s job.

“Make Last-Minute Decisions or Spend the Day in Bed Watching Netflix”

Husbands sometimes view doing household duties as “helping” their wives rather than doing their equal share for the family. Miss_tee said she is “much happier raising kids as a single mom without feeling resentful of a husband who actually created more work” for her. Running a household takes a lot of work, and people want a partner who will contribute their fair share.

Some people don’t want to get married for selfish reasons. Kishbish talks about loving her life, her routine, and her “little house that wouldn’t be big enough for two people to live in.” Thia_m likes only having to be responsible for herself. She can “make last-minute decisions or spend the day in bed watching Netflix” if she chooses. Having a partner can hinder those personal freedoms.

A Decline in Marriage Among Younger Generations

Marriage is a personal preference, but statistics have shown a decline in marriage among younger generations. Satisfaction comes in many forms, and not everyone enjoys getting married. Many people have found their life more fulfilling while single or just living with their partner.

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Source: Buzz Feed