During their college years, OP and his buddy habitually attended ‘wings’ night at a local joint in New York, every Monday. The authenticity of the New York-style wings was undeniable. However, they were perpetually dissatisfied with the level of heat in the so-called “suicide” wings, which tasted more like Tabasco than true spice.
Never Challenge the Masculinity of a Burly Chef!
One night, a desire for something much hotter prompted a daring challenge. They’d previously observed the big, burly cook – a formidable figure who commanded respect.
They passed their audacious message through the waiter, who balked at first. They claimed the cook was incapable of producing wings spicy enough for them, as he lacked the necessary masculine bravado.
After being persuaded with a $10 tip, the waiter delivered their cheeky dare.
The cook didn’t hold back in his response. A dozen wings each, paired with a pitcher of cheap beer, arrived at their table. The wings carried an enticingly spicy aroma, sparking their excitement.
The Chef Laughed So Hard
But the first bite was a shock – the wings were outrageously spicy! So much so, they found themselves hastily downing their 16-ounce beers in an attempt to alleviate the searing heat.
Despite the initial shock, they bravely finished the first wing. They rapidly emptied their pitcher of beer in the process. The cook, amused by their struggle, emerged from the kitchen door.
He was laughing so hard he was in tears. He offered to prepare a fresh batch, revealing that these wings had been soaking at the bottom of a chili-soaked prep bucket for hours, a variant they never usually served to customers.
Refusing to admit defeat, OP and his friend decided to take responsibility for their choice. They hastily dialed two of their friends, requesting to be picked up in two hours.
The Painful Blur of Beer and Spice
They anticipated being too drunk and in too much pain to drive themselves home. Their friends, puzzled by this strange Monday night request, agreed nonetheless.
The ensuing two hours were a painful blur of beer and spice. It took three pitchers of beer each and a lot of perseverance, but they finished their spicy challenge.
The cook, clearly amused and impressed, came out to congratulate them, making them promise not to request ultra-spicy wings again.
They acknowledged their defeat, left a hefty tip, and let their sober friends chauffeur them home.
The aftermath of the challenge was not so sweet. For the next 48 hours, the bathroom became their refuge as they endured the excruciating after-effects of consuming far hotter-than-suicide buffalo wings.
Their cries for mercy echoed in their student residence, creating a humorous, if painful, memory for all involved.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / Roman Samborskyi. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.