In a recent Reddit post, a user found herself at a crossroads regarding coming out to her religious mother. Here’s the full story.
She Didn’t Grow Up in a Nurturing Environment for a Transgender Child
Sarah, a Trans woman in her 30s was raised in a conservative household.
Growing up in a divided household—split between a military environment and a Christian conservative setting in Texas—she acknowledges that neither was an ideal nurturing environment for a transgender child.
Now an adult, she has reached a point where she can accept herself and has decided not to turn back.
She longs to share her true self with her mother while she’s still alive, but apprehension lingers about how her mother will react.
She Was Scared Her True Identity May Jeopardize Their Relationship
She fears that revealing her true identity may jeopardize their relationship, which she has become increasingly protective of due to recent losses in her family.
However, attempting to gauge her mother’s opinion on transgender people, Sarah found her mother’s stance difficult to pin down.
On one hand, her mother claims to be “live and let live.” However, she recently defended a controversial bathroom bill in Florida on a Facebook post made by Sarah.
This left Sarah uncertain whether her mother’s support for the bill stemmed from being a Republican or if she harbored negative feelings towards transgender people due to her religious beliefs.
Her Mother Was Anti-LGBTQ+
Sarah also noticed her mother aligning with anti-LGBTQ+ measures being passed in Florida.
When discussing Trans people, her mother uses dismissive language like “transitioning their gender or whatever,” which was disheartening for Sarah.
Considering her mother’s mixed messages, Sarah found it increasingly frustrating to hear her candid thoughts on transgender individuals.
As a result, Sarah made a difficult decision to not come out to her mother. She no longer feels she can trust her mother to react positively or be supportive.
She Plans to Transition Without Telling Her Mom
Instead, she believes her mother needs to come to terms with her identity independently.
When her mother eventually discovers the truth, Sarah says she will be ready to discuss why she chose not to disclose her gender identity earlier.
She plans to begin her transition without informing her mother, knowing that their physical distance across the country will prolong the discovery.
She took to Reddit to ask whether she would be in the wrong for withholding this information from her mother and several Redditors sided with her saying she was not wrong.
“You Are Never Under Any Obligation to Ever Out Yourself to Anyone”
One Reddit user wrote, “NTA-You have to protect yourself sometimes even from your nearest and dearest, which can mean not revealing your true self when you know there won’t be a good outcome.
Another Redditor commented, “Regardless of whether your mom has some bigoted beliefs (which it really sounds like she does), you are never under any obligation to ever out yourself to anyone. Especially not if that person has participated in behavior that suggests that they are not someone with whom you would be safe if you disclose.”
The post Torn Between Truth and Love: A Trans Woman’s Heartbreaking Dilemma with Her Conservative Mother first appeared on The Net Worth Of.
Featured Image Credit: Shutterstock / PiercarloAbate. The people shown in the images are for illustrative purposes only, not the actual people featured in the story.